Consequences? Seasons? Maybe a little of both.

From the age of 17 - 19, I interned with the youth ministry at my church.
The absolute, by far, greatest time of my life.
It was everything I needed at the time.
It was all the people I needed.
I met some of the most amazing people and loved them dearly.
I mean these people I thought I would be friends with forever.
Now they're all just those "acquaintances" on facebook....memories of a distant past.

I led this 8th grade girls Bible study for two years - the same group of girls and I just moved up to 9th grade with them. I can honestly say I truly loved those girls. I mentored one of them, she was precious. And her family, oh my, her family. Couldn't have loved them any more than I did! They were wonderful. It's funny how 10 years later I can still remember the smell of their house....Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar. That may secretly be why I have that same scent in my own home. While I invested in their daughter, they invested in me. I remember a birthday party they threw for me with homemade cookie cake because they knew I hated regular cake. Like I really can't even describe the connection I had with them.

But then...I started college.
And the first day of college I met a guy. You know because mom always said I'd meet someone in college, so he had to be from God right?
I was SO strong in my faith...maybe the strongest I've ever been.
But yet, this guy....he was my project. I was going to turn his life around.
I mean he was an altar boy as a child, so technically he had a church background.
Funny how Satan can manipulate us into believing the stupidest things.
Rather quickly, he began absorbing all of my time.
And before you knew it, I was living a lifestyle that I was ashamed of.
So rather than break it off with this guy, I quit what truly was most important...the internship.
And with that, I drifted away from all of those wonderful people who invested so much into my life.
i chose a boy over what mattered.
And that entire first semester of college is what has come to be known as the biggest mistake of my life.
And here we are, 10 years later, and I still deeply miss those people. I miss who I was. I miss all that I missed out on. It's not normal for me to think about them as much as I do. But they were precious to me and I basically walked out on them.
All for a boy.
A stupid stupid boy.

And often I wonder....were they just here for a season of my life? Or is this longing for them the consequence of my sin? Because you know, there's always consequences.

Or maybe a little of both.

Whoot Whoot!

I know, I know.

I seem to have disappeared here lately.

Work's been crazy, and I do mean crazy!

Today marks 1 week of being on the Atkins Diet Induction Phase.

And.....I have lost 5.4 pounds in this week and 6.5 inches!

Wahoo!!!!

I've lost a total of 8.4 pounds since March 31st. And I'm on a roll.

Something has clicked in my head.

I look at food differently...and I like the change.

I actually get grossed out watching others eat some of what used to be my favorite foods.

But I'm not gonna lie, I'd desperately love some Zaxby's!

I've got to make it one more week to complete the induction phase, though. I can do it!

I've become a bit of a gym rat too. I really have come to enjoy exercise and I miss it when I don't do it. I'm really proud of myself. This is really, really huge for me.

Today I started day one of couch to 5k....I'd like to run one with heather memorial day weekend. However, I'm not sure that I'll be up for running the whole thing, but for me to run any of it will be more than I ever have before!

So although it's been quite busy, things are going well!

Humbled and Blessed and Thankful and, and, and...

I had quite the experience at church Sunday morning.

I serve on our first impressions team. We handle things like greeting, the info booth, seating ushers, etc.

Yesterday we had a new family join our awesome team.

They were so pretty. Like the perfect pretty little family.

On our team, we usually serve one entire service and attend another.

So in between services, me and the pretty little new girl were chatting.

And somehow, as conversations travel, she ended up telling me her story.

Turns out this pretty put together lady in fact had a very ugly past.

She was addicted to drugs at the age of 12. Her mom was her dope dealer.

She then got into meth. And then moved into trafficking meth from Atlanta to Macon for the Mexican drug cartel.

She lost her kids.

Lost everything.

She said she had heard God knocking at her heart many a time, but felt too ashamed.

She thought He could never love her.

She thought people were born Christians....either you had it or you didn't.

She knew she would never be the cute little girl on the front row that has her life together.

And then she said it was in that moment that she felt God speak to her.

That he said "you're right. YOU never will be that girl on your own. that's why i died for you. so that you could be..."

Now I've heard many a story of transformation.

But there was something about this one that completely wrecked my heart.

I think it was the fact that the night before I was having a little internal pity party the night before of how Chris and I may never live the lifestyle to just go out and get each other nice gifts.

You know, evaluating my haves and have nots.

I was completely humbled because although I've been through a lot of really bad things, I never got to that point.

I'm so grateful that God found me when He did. I'm so endlessly thankful for His death on the cross. And that he did it for me, and for you, and for girls like the one I met Sunday.

I constantly stand in awe of the transformation God offers.

His endless love.

I am so thankful because I am ever so blessed.

And I want the entire world to know that feeling.

Something about her story made me step back and remember why I serve. Why I do this "Christian" thing. How unbelievably transformed my life is as a result of it. And how I would never ever in a million years un-do it.

Inspired.

So on my way to the gym this morning, I had the most fabulously inspiring music mix going. Truly the perfect way to start the day. So I thought I'd share the music videos for each....I'm telling you, it's an awesome way to start the day!!!!

Good Morning - Mandisa:


Dance, Dance, Dance - Mandisa


Freedom Song - Mandisa (it's only slow for a few secs)


Shadows - David Crowder Band w/ Lecrae


Shackles - Mary Mary


Revolution - Kirk Franklin

so proud.

dear friends,

i am beginning to ENJOY working out!

this. is. huge.

so tuesdays and thursdays is water aerobics.

ashby and i call this "swim team". lol!

and i'm absolutely loving it. we've done 4 sessions so far, tomorrow will make 5, and each one has been with a different instructor getting totally different workouts.

woot woot!

now, tonight we added in cardio kickboxing.

at this moment, it is taking a lot of effort to type.

i am so sore all over.

but let me tell you, i am sooo proud of myself!

i was the biggest girl in the class and you know what? i did an hour of cardio kickboxing and didn't stop once!

not once!

yay me!

had i been at home doing this as a workout video, i surely would have quit.

but i didn't.

i persevered.

i pushed myself to the limit.

i totally almost threw up, but i pushed through.

i feel like this is the beginning of something wonderful for me......

my bootylicious booty is on it's way!

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