this day....

this day 10 years ago, my mom and i were moving out of our home that we had lived in for 17 years.
it was a tough day, emotionally.
but that night, i had a first date with this cute guy that had been a crazy flirt.
i moved all of my bathroom essentials first so i would have everything needed to get ready.
but as i got out of the shower, and was getting ready to fix my hair........there was a blow dryer no where to be found.
my hair can NOT air dry. it's awful.
and so i threw it in a pony tail and ran to the nearest big lots and got me one. 
i remember i was wearing these cute little military green capris, a black t-shirt and flip flops.
i met chris at church for our saturday night service, where he was playing keys.
then we hopped in his mini-van and headed to dinner at outback.

caesar salad and a baked potato for me, and i was so nervous, that i couldn't eat it.
those days of not eating have long passed lol.
then we went back to his place and rented a movie. secondhand lions was the movie of choice.

and then he took me back to my apartment and the rest was history. 
we've spent almost every day since together for the last 10 years.

aww, look how we've changed.

love you boo. guess we're in this for the long haul. ;)


exciting new things.

there's something about my upcoming graduation (24 days to be exact) that has sparked a need for lots of new things in my life, and i couldn't be more excited about them.

remember a few posts back i told you about my new project, Curvy Moi. well i'm happy to say the website is all built, and now it's just waiting for my content. i am absolutely ecstatic about this little project, that has so much potential to be something bigger. we've got posts planned for months and ideas out the wazoo.
i seriously walk around with a spiral notebook where i keep jotting down ideas. To refresh your memory, Curvy Moi is going to be a happy little place on the interweb for curvy girls. Too often, us curvy girls leave stores and websites a little frustrated and discouraged. we're creating a place for refreshment, encouragement and fashion for the curvy girl.

once i get that up and running, there is going to be a serious overhaul on the old blog here. it's getting a major facelift and content update. my absence here hasn't been for nothing - it's been a time of dreaming and determining how i can have the most impact. God and i have been doing a lot of talking lately, and it seems as if some of my dreams that have been hidden in the deepest part of my heart are getting a little light shed on them. i'm not quite ready to divulge everything just yet, but i do know, very clearly, that God wants me to be an advocate of hope. now, exactly what that looks like, i'm not sure. but i'm excited even for just the glimmers of direction.

i'm really working with God these days to tap into my dreams. for far too long, i've thought of dreams as just, well, dreams. but recently i have realized that sometimes God places those dreams in our hearts for a reason. so...i'm praying for dreams. for the courage to follow them. for the heart to embrace them. and for a spirit that's willing to dream them.

and most importantly, the beach vacay has been booked for may.
graduation on saturday, then the beach on sunday. yes, yes, i do believe that panned out very well.

annnnnd lastly, my newest nephew Gunnar is making his grand entrance into the world today!!!! i'm eagerly awaiting the call that he is officially here!

now have yourself a happy wednesday!


happy birthday mama

today would have been my sweet mama's 56th birthday.
and in a few short weeks we'll be looking at the 8th year since she left us.

sometimes my brain can't fully comprehend the fact that she's gone.
like HOW have i survived this?

and so today, i'm choosing to celebrate her beautiful self.
that pretty smile.
those awesome hugs.
and that contagious laugh.

we went to smallcakes and got us a box of cupcakes.
i'm either celebrating or self-medicating lol.

happy birthday mama. 
love you forever and always.


Quiet - but not silent.

hey y'all.
i know, i've been a little quiet lately.
life has kind of....exploded a bit.

chris has been so sick for months.
march was particularly rough.
we finally found out last week what was wrong....mono.
32 years old and finally got him some mono.
luckily, as of right now, i haven't caught it.
i mean since he's been sick so much i've kind of refused any kind of kissy kissy.
that's real good for a marriage. lol.

i graduate in 31 days! t.h.i.r.t.y. o.n.e. d.a.y.s.!!!!!
my cap and gown came in the mail this week and i just may wear it to work in.
seriously the only thing stopping me is the amount of dog hair that would get on it!

i'm having a little photo shoot next week that i'm excited about.
and nervous.
this is really the first time i've been a customer on the other side of the camera.
the pressure is ridic!
but i'll be sure to share the goodness when it's all done.
i bought 4 new dresses to choose from!

we're desperately trying to pull together a beach vacay because this little family of two is in dire need of a break!

the ridiculous amount of sickness chris has experienced over the last 3.5 months has also significantly prolonged our baby making process.
it's kind of sad because when we started seeing the new doctor in december, there was a real possibility that we'd be pregnant by May. it finally seemed attainable.
and well, here we are almost to May, and i've been on birth control for 4 months.
i was only supposed to be on it for 2 months.
i can't come off the birth control until chris's numbers change.
and it all just seems to be nothing but road block after road block.
and at some point in the game you have to come to grips that it really may never happen.
you may not "win".

and while you may say, oh 4 months is nothing.....well it's actually an awful lot when this journey has lasted almost 10 years.
so yes, every day counts in this mess. every single day.

well, there you have it.
a whirlwind catch up of life.
i'll be back in the blogging game soon.
probably more like May.
but soon!


Curvy Moi

It's tough being a curvy girl in this world.
There's the constant struggle between self acceptance and self loathing.
And our media outlets and society are so contradictory.
On one hand they're launching campaigns to love yourself while on the other they are constantly showing what you should look like.
It's nasty y'all.

A few weeks ago I went dress shopping and had a terrible experience.
And I may have had an epiphany/breakdown.

As a result, I have some very exciting news!
One of my besties and I are launching a new website. We'll be launching it in just a couple of months, but we are so very excited about it!

It will be a place where the curvy ladies can go to get advice on the most flattering looks for their body types as well as leave refreshed and encouraged.

I can't wait to share it with you all! It's going to be EPIC.
EPIC I say!