checking off the bucket list!

y'all. i've been a weepy mess this week.

there are quite a few factors to this madness:

PMS

the anniversary of mom's death

the anniversary of granddaddy's death

mother's day

a crazy work week

college graduation

vacation

all. this. week.

needless to say, my emotions and hormones and stress level have been on overload.

poor chris had to deal with my ugly cry at dinner last night.

he knows when that lip puckers up....it's a comin and there's no stopping it.

he saw it happening, and bless him, he said "oh no, no, no, please don't do that!"

bahahaha.

i bawled all over the land of public places yesterday.

the post office.

the mother's day card isle at walmart.

my couch.

the dinner table.

oy.

i think i'm a bit weepy in general because a major milestone is happening this week. 

i've been working on this dang bachelor's degree for 11.5 years.

seriously...who takes that long!?

but honestly, as i reflect, i'm kind of glad. 

i don't fit into a perfect mold and for far too long i kept trying to.

it's like that toddler toy where you try to match the wooden blocks with their shapes.

and i think i've finally let go of that for a bit.

and as i reflect, it brings me back to that lovely old 30 before 30 list that i created years ago.

i have 4 months left of being 30 and i've really done a lot.

in addition to the "x" marks, i accomplished a few others:

i got that other tattoo

i went to paris

i graduated college

i ran part of a 5k - that counts right?

i had those 30 days of quiet time with God - it was actually 42.

in all reality, i'm pretty proud of the things i have done in these 30 years.

it's been nothing short of adventurous.

i've lived in 3 states, moved 14 times.

we kind of go where the wind takes us.

we've traveled.

we've had fun.

and now, quite honestly, i'm a bit more excited for the next 30 years.

at some point, you have to stop desiring God's path for other people and embrace the one He has for you.

so to God, I say "let's do this."

picture time!

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was getting some pictures made to celebrate my college graduation! 

Well the pictures happened and we had oh so much fun!

The challenge was cute graduation pictures that didn't look too cutesy for a 30 year old!

And I think we have a success!!!

I'm really excited with how they turned out.

And I'm working really hard on not being overly critical of myself.

Instead, I'm practicing what I preach, and loving me!

All of me.

Curves and all!!!

So, I wanted to share a few of my faves with you....

 

 

 

 Officially less than two weeks until it's official! Holla!!!!!

exciting new things.

there's something about my upcoming graduation (24 days to be exact) that has sparked a need for lots of new things in my life, and i couldn't be more excited about them.

remember a few posts back i told you about my new project, Curvy Moi. well i'm happy to say the website is all built, and now it's just waiting for my content. i am absolutely ecstatic about this little project, that has so much potential to be something bigger. we've got posts planned for months and ideas out the wazoo.
i seriously walk around with a spiral notebook where i keep jotting down ideas. To refresh your memory, Curvy Moi is going to be a happy little place on the interweb for curvy girls. Too often, us curvy girls leave stores and websites a little frustrated and discouraged. we're creating a place for refreshment, encouragement and fashion for the curvy girl.

once i get that up and running, there is going to be a serious overhaul on the old blog here. it's getting a major facelift and content update. my absence here hasn't been for nothing - it's been a time of dreaming and determining how i can have the most impact. God and i have been doing a lot of talking lately, and it seems as if some of my dreams that have been hidden in the deepest part of my heart are getting a little light shed on them. i'm not quite ready to divulge everything just yet, but i do know, very clearly, that God wants me to be an advocate of hope. now, exactly what that looks like, i'm not sure. but i'm excited even for just the glimmers of direction.

i'm really working with God these days to tap into my dreams. for far too long, i've thought of dreams as just, well, dreams. but recently i have realized that sometimes God places those dreams in our hearts for a reason. so...i'm praying for dreams. for the courage to follow them. for the heart to embrace them. and for a spirit that's willing to dream them.

and most importantly, the beach vacay has been booked for may.
graduation on saturday, then the beach on sunday. yes, yes, i do believe that panned out very well.

annnnnd lastly, my newest nephew Gunnar is making his grand entrance into the world today!!!! i'm eagerly awaiting the call that he is officially here!

now have yourself a happy wednesday!

Quiet - but not silent.

hey y'all.
i know, i've been a little quiet lately.
life has kind of....exploded a bit.

chris has been so sick for months.
march was particularly rough.
we finally found out last week what was wrong....mono.
32 years old and finally got him some mono.
luckily, as of right now, i haven't caught it.
i mean since he's been sick so much i've kind of refused any kind of kissy kissy.
that's real good for a marriage. lol.

i graduate in 31 days! t.h.i.r.t.y. o.n.e. d.a.y.s.!!!!!
my cap and gown came in the mail this week and i just may wear it to work in.
seriously the only thing stopping me is the amount of dog hair that would get on it!

i'm having a little photo shoot next week that i'm excited about.
and nervous.
this is really the first time i've been a customer on the other side of the camera.
the pressure is ridic!
but i'll be sure to share the goodness when it's all done.
i bought 4 new dresses to choose from!

we're desperately trying to pull together a beach vacay because this little family of two is in dire need of a break!

the ridiculous amount of sickness chris has experienced over the last 3.5 months has also significantly prolonged our baby making process.
it's kind of sad because when we started seeing the new doctor in december, there was a real possibility that we'd be pregnant by May. it finally seemed attainable.
and well, here we are almost to May, and i've been on birth control for 4 months.
i was only supposed to be on it for 2 months.
i can't come off the birth control until chris's numbers change.
and it all just seems to be nothing but road block after road block.
and at some point in the game you have to come to grips that it really may never happen.
you may not "win".

and while you may say, oh 4 months is nothing.....well it's actually an awful lot when this journey has lasted almost 10 years.
so yes, every day counts in this mess. every single day.

well, there you have it.
a whirlwind catch up of life.
i'll be back in the blogging game soon.
probably more like May.
but soon!

once upon a time....

....i had this blog that i liked to write on.

but somewhere along the way i decided i needed something stupid, you know, like a degree.
and it has now become an all consuming facet of my life.
the sad reality is that it's a degree that i have no earthly idea what i will do with...it just must be finished.

and well then there was a few other big ticket items happening in my little world.
so bottom line is i'm just a bit overwhelmed with life at the moment.
and i can't really put together coherent thoughts.
don't believe me?
you should see my face.
it's broken out like a teen in the trenches of puberty.
pretty gross actually.

i'm a winner, what can i say?

last weekend was holli's fabulous wedding....and one day i'll devote a whole post to it!
it was a fun, but whirlwind trip.

and with that i'm off to write another stupid research paper and do some work for my real job...you know, the one that pays the bills.

peace out homies.

the bestest news.

so friday i called my school to discuss changing my major up a little. i just wanted to add a concentration.
the sweet girl told me that it would add 5 classes to my education journey which would make graduation next fall.
me - "wait a minute....i thought i was already graduating next fall"
girl - "no ma'am, you will graduate next spring"
me - "what? like spring 2014? like one more semester?"
girl - "yes ma'am!"
me - "ok nevermind! no concentration for me...just let me graduate!"

this my friends, was the most amazing conversation ever. EVER!
i have been working on this degree for 11 years. yes, 11 years.
do you know what this means?
it means i will graduate while i am still 30.
which means i will be able to check off a major 30 before 30 list item....graduating! because technically, i will still be 30, so it won't be after 30!

this also means that i have to take 5 classes spring semester while working full time.
my life will pretty much be non-existent, but that's ok, because for 8 weeks i can manage no life when it means i will never have school work again!!!

that is all. it was just too good not to share.
love you all!

things i thought you should know

y'all.
i have a 7 page paper to write and a 6 minute speech to memorize.
it is my last 2 days of school until july.
this should be motivation enough to get it done.
but no. not i.
i have spent the last 24 hours in a serious state of PROCRASTINATION.
like in the worst way.

i have shaved my dog.
he looks brilliant by the way.

i have vacuumed my furniture.
we got a new vacuum and i kid you not, i just sent chris a text proclaiming my love for the awesomeness of it.
best $79 i've spent in a while.

a vacation has been booked.
this infertile myrtle is heading to myrtle beach!
booty in the sand is desperately needed.

the a/c is out in our apartment. it will be 7:30 tonight until it's fixed.
i would not have survived too well in an era without a/c.

i have watched marathons of some stupid reality show about people getting evicted.
quite interesting.

annnnd i've written 2 posts for today.
i need some motivation.
but i'm sure tomorrow i'll be whining because i was up all night writing papers when it's my own stupid fault.

Change Is Comin'

Step one of new years resolutions complete.

That's right...project graduation is now underway!

I registered for spring semester yesterday and I'm so excited!

Now, I probably have about a year and a half before I finish, but I'm on the right track!

And, to no surprise, I have changed my major yet again!

BUT to my defense, this may be the best one yet! (and i think it'll stick this time).

The degree you ask?

Human Services.

My heart beats for the hurting.

And I just figure, what better thing to major in than something that can help me help others.

Let me say...I do NOT want to be a social worker.

But I feel so drawn to this.

AND it will totally help me out in a major way with the non-profit I'm starting this year.

Can I tell you how excited I am about this?

In case you don't remember, I'm starting a non-profit to offer free photography services for families in unhappy circumstances......mainly those affected with terminal illness.

I want to capture one last happy moment for them to cherish before their loved one passes away.

And I have FINALLY decided on a name. But I can't tell you yet ;)

Not to worry - there will be an official roll out soon!

That being said, the school I attend offers a certificate in starting a non-profit and all those classes will count towards my degree.

Even better right?

Again....so excited!

So I really feel good about how the year is starting off.

And to that note, let me leave you with a song that is totally rocking my face off right now....doing major, major, major things in my heart!

(and for those who can't open the video, I've put the lyrics below)

Matthew West - My Own Little World

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I’ve never gone hungry, always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet

In my own little world

Population: me


I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give ’til it hurts

I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see

Yeah,it’s easy to do when it’s

Population: me


What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

Outside my own little world oooh


Well, I stopped at a red light, looked out my window

I saw a cardboard sign, said “Help this homeless widow”

Above that sign was the face of a human

and I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”

So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye

I thought how many times have I just passed her by?

So I gave her some money then I drove on through

And my own little world reached

Population: two


What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

I should be living right now

Outside my own little world yeah, yeah

My own little world oooh


Father break my heart for what breaks Yours

Give me open hands and open doors

and put Your Light in my eyes and let me see

That my own little world is not about me


What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

That I could be living right now

Well I dont wanna miss what matters

i wanna be reaching out

showing the greater purpose

so I could be living right now

Outside my own little world oooh

My own little world yeah

My own little world oooh

Hello All!

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted! Talk about a CRAZY week! So, let me catch up on everything.
Hmm....
Thursday was hubby's b-day. He turned the big 2-7! We had a nice dinner at Longhorn's after I finished class.
Friday I was up until 2:30am writing 3 essays for my English class. YUCKY!!!
Saturday I barely made it through class. I was soooo sleepy! Then I came home and cleaned and then we all went shopping.
Sunday I photographed a birthday party. It was my first paying job! I should have pictures posted tomorrow or Friday. His name was Kameron and he turned 1!
Of course since Monday and Tuesday were the end of the month, it was crazy at work! Then my nice teacher called and cancelled class tonight because of the gas shortage. Yay!
So there you have it, all that business is why I haven't posted. Hopefully I'll have something a little more interesting to post tomorrow!

Ahhh, Tuesday

Today is like Friday for me! Luckilly I only have to work 2 days this week. I could totally get used to this part-time thing full-time! :) So I've got a few things on my mind today.
This whole gas thing is freaking me out. Actually, I think it's really the whole 2008 election that is freaking me out. I am absolutely terrified of what will happen if Obama gets into office. Now, I'm not usually one to chat about politcs, but this is serious stuff right now. The fact of the matter is, we probably will have some sort of terrorist attack again. If that happens, who do you want in the white house to pick up the pieces and deal with it? I seriously doubt that Obama could tackle that.

Ok, I'm done with that now. On to happier things. Has anyone seen Burn After Reading? It's the new George Clooney and Brad Pitt movie. Chris and I saw it this weekend and it was pretty good. It was definitely a little twisted. The people who made No Country for Old Men made this one too and it was definitely a twisted piece of work! I really hated the way it ended...no closure!

Well, as I've said before this is my year of firsts. Actually I'm calling it "12 months of 25". I started making my list yesterday of everything I want to do, and let me just say I'm excited!!!

That is all.

It's Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day everyone!!! And what a day it's been!!! I feel like I have been around the world. I went to the lovely dentist today for my 6 month cleaning. All in all it was good, but they are forcing me to get my wisdom teeth removed. I tried to express to these people that I have had this scheduled 4 times, but every time, someone dies. I really can't handle another death in my family, not to mention the price I have to pay out of pocket! Call me superstitious, but whatever! I guess I'll schedule it next year.

I feel good today because I finally turned in my teaching application and paid the rest of my fees. That's a load of stress removed! AND, we signed the final paperwork for our new apartment today. So yes, happy hump day to me!

So, my big 25 birthday is Saturday. As most of you know, I went through a SERIOUS quarter life crisis earlier this year. Which, now I'm pretty pissed about because I've been upset all year, and then the week before my birthday, it clicks and I'm ok. I have decided to EMBRACE 25! In all reality, I don't really have an option as to whether or not 25 is coming, so I might as well accept it. I am going to make this a year of firsts. I want to do all the things I've never done before. Here are a few items that top the list:
1. Go to a tailgate party (doing that with Heather on 10/18)
2. Be more spontaneous (try not to plan everything)
3. Go to a club and go dancing
4. Take dance lessons
5. Do 1 wild and crazy thing (not sure what that might be. I thought my tattoo was pretty close)

All that being said, I'm really excited for this year! I am confident it will be good. Thinking positively here!

Moving On Up

Well, it's finally happening - we're moving out! We move in 9/19! Only two weeks! Luckily everything we own is packed up in the basement, so it's just a matter of loading it up and moving it out. We got an apartment off of Barrett Parkway. I'm glad to be able to have a place of our own and I know our cats will be too!

On another note, I found great news last week! My SAT scores are high enough that I don't have to take the GACE test to get into the education program! YAY!!!! That takes so much stress off my plate for this semester.

I believe it is spastic colon Sunday! That's what happens when you don't want to work on Monday!

It must be the weather

Well hello! This week has been really weird. It must be all the rainy days because I have been stressed to the max! There is so much going on with school and it's only week 2! Thank goodness I don't have class on Saturday. I've got so many deadlines to meet in order to get into the education program, not to mention paying for school! Apparently the economy is so bad that the student loan companies don't have money to pay the schools! So, it may be mid September before my money comes, if it comes at all. Fantastic! The poor guy working at the bookstore today....I thought he was going to stroke out on me. Maybe he's having a rough week too!
I really miss my mom. Here lately I've gone to pick up the phone to call her, only to realize she's not here. I think the big problem is that I don't know how to cope with it. Every time I think of her, I try not to think of her because I cry. But then I think that I'm going to forget her because I don't let myself think about her. Confused yet? How DO you cope with it? Losing the one person on earth that you were so extremely close to and who encouraged you NO matter what and who believed all your dreams would come true. It's just hard to have to admit she's gone and not coming back.
I miss my friends too. One of my new goals is to be more involved in the lives of my friends and make a better effort of staying in touch.

Just venting. Like I said, must be the weather.

Desperate Cane Toads

So yesterday was my first day of school! Yay!!! Of course, neither of my teachers let us out early, so I was there from 8-2. BUT, in my last class (science) we watched an hour long video about Cane Toads. About 30 minutes of it was on mating! Ha! It was so funny. The male cane toad is very sex driven, therefore he will try to mate with ANYTHING----even dead frogs. Sound like a typical male???? So that is my new name for man hoes: "Desperate Little Cane Toads"!

All joking aside, I was a little bummed in both of my classes yesterday.......I have a test on the 13th and the 20th of September. Yep, on my birthday and on the weekend I was supposed to have my b-day trip. So it looks like no big 25th birthday bash this year! However, I would like to reschedule for maybe in the spring sometime. It can just be a girls trip. I'll have to figure something else out for my birthday this year...maybe just a girls night out. As a matter of fact, that sounds pretty fun. So, it's settled! I'm glad I just had that conversation with myself :)

Well now I have to go pump my self up to go to work tomorrow!

This is the Life

So I am officially starting my new work schedule since school is back in session and let me just say...I'M EXCITED!!! School starts tomorrow and the next week I will only be working 3 days a week! That is fabulous! I took today off because I had a lot of overtime this week and I have just loved it! I went yard-selling with Chris's mom, then we had lunch, ice cream and now I've paid bills (at least I can say I did SOMETHING productive). Now if I could just completely quit work! Hmmm.......