All Over The Place

What up my blogger peeps? Hope your week is all that you hoped it would be! :)
Mine has been busy as usual.
But, PRODUCTIVE! That = a happy, happy heart!
I'm so happy to say I have finally finished all of my outstanding photo projects:
*2 weddings
*1 engagement session
*1 slide show
*1 photo book
All done! Again, a happy heart here! And all that has been finished up just in time for school to start back for me. Next week I begin my summer courses. I'm beginning to wonder if school will ever be finished! And when it is, what in the world am I going to do with my degree?
Currently my major is Religion with a minor in Christian Counseling. Seriously, what am I going to do with it? I honestly think I'm just doing it to say I have a 4 year degree - of which I have been working towards for like 6 years!
I guess I say all that to say that I have no idea what to do with my life. I know what I want to do with my life, but that's not something attainable in the near future. Ideally I don't want to have to use my degree. I dream of being a stay at home mom and photographer.
So why don't I get a degree in photography you ask?
Lots of reasons.
The photography degree I can afford is an associates degree and I feel that I've wasted the last 6 years of schooling if I'm just coming out of it all with a "2-year" degree.
The photography degree I want is about $12,000. No can do. I've already spent that on school so far! No need to really go into more debt for it.
This is when you wish you had a wealthy family member that really believed in you and said - "I'll take care of your schooling."
No such luck there either.
And then there's a much bigger issue.
The issue of getting so incredibly caught up in this world that some how my faith has kind of taken a back seat. A relationship with God is something that has to be nurtured and worked at - on our part. Just like human relationships, if no effort is put into them, nothing fruitful comes of it.
I haven't been very nurturing lately. Nor have I put any effort into my relationship with God. Why is that? Why is it that the absolute most important relationship to me is the very one I neglect?
For weeks I've had that nagging in the back of my mind of how poorly I'm treating God, yet I've not done anything to fix it.
So, this weekend my priority is getting my reading nook situated the way I want it. My hope is that it would give me the perfect place to go in my house and meet with God on a daily basis. I've got to do something. I haven't been like this since the month's after my mom's death.
I need a revival in my heart.
And I guess in realizing all this, I'm just trying to make sure I'm leading my life and making decisions as God would want and not as I would want.
I just feel a bit worthless and like I'm having absolutely no impact on the world.
That kills me.
My passion in life has always been to make some sort of impact.
I don't want to die one day and have left no legacy.
I want to help change people's lives.
I want to leave the areas I touch better than how I found them.
All to glorify God's name, not my own.
Wow, am I a Debbie Downer or what?
I will spend the weekend trying to get better so I can provide you with much happier posts on Monday! :)
And on a lighter note -
It's the middle of June and I haven't been to a pool, lake or ocean! What?
Well tomorrow I'm taking a half day and heading to the pool!
Holla! (Pronounced like 'holler' but with an a on the end. Not the Spanish hello of 'Hola'. Just so we're clear.)
Super excited about that - the pool that is, not the correct pronunciation of Holla.
I hope you all have a fabulous day!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Lauren!

    Here's my take on the situation - the whole two cents for what its worth.

    Photography Degree? Nope, you don't need it. You are already amazingly talented, and unless you're trying to sell yourself as a super high tech space photographer, this is a gift and skill that you can learn on the job. In fact, OJT is probably the best way to go.

    Religion and Christian Counseling Degree? If you're almost done, keep after it. The persistance and discipline of finishing the degree bear almost as much weight as the degree itself with a prospective employer. Also, these sort of studies transcend "job" borders, and can be applied, reapplied and rearranged as you need throughout the rest of your life.

    Closeness with God? Sweetie, we all drift in and out of our relationships, with people AND with God, as the decades flow by. God is the one who remains faithful, who will always welcome you, and who will never rebuke or even acknowledge the time you were absent! The guilt is of your own making, and should be left outside. Pick up where you left off and keep moving forward. Simply Be. Your existance is glory for God, and everything else you do for Him is gravy.

    Of course, everything you do for Him usually helps others as well!!