How to Help the Unhelpable

And yes, I'm quite sure that "unhelpable" is not a word, but it's really the only thing I could create to describe this.

See, I'm a little perplexed.
It is in my nature to fix things.
I want to solve all the world's problems.
Ok, so that's a little bit of a stretch, but at least all the problems in my "world" of people close to me.
There are SO many hurting right now that I know.
But there's one main thing in common with the situations that seem to be the worst.

These people aren't willing to help themselves.

They cry. They whine. They beg for answers.
The answers are right there in front of them. Yet they won't accept them.

Does this seem like it's going in circles?

Let me try to break it down.

Person A - let's call her Jen (I must protect my peeps).
Jen is in a TERRIBLE marriage. Now, I'm not one to promote divorce, but this one seems too far gone. I've never thought divorce would be such a good thing - but it would be amazing for her.
Their issues have gotten a little physical. They both have major extremes and the two of them together is like a volcano exploding plus a hurricaine. BAD stuff.
She knows what she has to do.
Yet she's scared of being on her own.
And please hear me, I understand this.
But at what point do you say enough is enough and try to make something better out of your life?
If miserable makes you happy, then be miserable. If not, DO SOMETHING. And I know, boy do I know, this is easier said than done.
How do you tell someone going through all this that she can't expect God to fix anything if she's not willing to surrender. She has to let go in order for God to work in this.

And now let's meet person B - we'll call her Babs.
Now Babs is having some financial trouble. Yet she would rather complain about being broke than do something about it. To protect the innocent, I shall not go any further in this description, but I'm just soooo torn.

I want to help them. All of them.
I want to solve their problems.
And I have this great answer for their issues.
He's an amazing God that can fix all things.
ALL things.
I've seen it first hand.
BUT......I just don't know how to offer them a little Jesus when they're so set on doing this alone.
I don't know how to put into words all that I know and how this can help.

See, it's usually not until Jesus is ALL you have left in the world that you can truly appreciate all that He is. But wouldn't it be so much easier to go through your world collapsing with Him than without Him?


  1. Ah...but Lauren, that moment of surrender can only be given up by the individual. It's called Free Will, and that is the part of our being that is the absolute, perfect reflection of God's Image.

    Your job (and mine) is to simply Be - to live the example of Christ's love, gently leading the way for those we love.

  2. It's very very difficult to walk away from a marriage - no matter how terrible it is. I know because I've done it. I don't think it's crossing any lines to give a little tough love. She can't expect change from anyone but herself - so she either needs to change and accept him or change and leave him. Sounds like the latter is the better alternative.

  3. All you can do is pray for them. They need to find their way on their own.