some weeks are more craptastic than others.
this week was definitely on the "more" scale.
and i'm just so glad it's over.

so i've kind of been having some "female issues" in the worst sort of way.
like 6 weeks worth of issues.
i would like to thank my pcos for that!

worst part about moving to a new state.....finding a new lady doctor.
but i have to say i really like the one i'm seeing.
so i went to the doc on monday, had to get some pricy meds to help my issue.
side effects: nausea, light headedness, and headaches.
holy cow, what a head ache it caused! i've been so sick on it.
i was in bed by 7pm one night this week!

then i found out that most likely, invitro will be my only option for conceiving.
let's just say i had a complete meltdown in the parking lot over this one.
it was just kind of confirming what i already knew in the back of my mind.
i guess what got me was i had always said i would draw the line at IVF.
i've just felt that if it came down to spending that kind of money for something that's not guaranteed to work, that we would just adopt.
there's a lot of gray area with IVF that I'm just real confused about.
so needless to say, we've been having quite the convos this week.

now, we go see a fertility specialist in january.
i feel like me and chris are on completely different pages, and more than anything, we need to be united in this. so i'm really looking forward to both of us sitting down with the specialist and getting in the know with our options.

in the meantime, i had to have lots of bloodwork and a sonogram.
fun times.

it's always in the highly emotional times that i miss my mom the most.
whether happy or sad.
this week, i've wanted nothing more than to crawl in her lap and cry.
or even just talk to her on the phone.
so that sadness on top of this week's emotion has just magnified everything.

the whole time i was melting down, i kept telling myself that it could be worse.
we could be one of those families devastated by the hurricane.
we could be fighting cancer.
so in the grand scheme of things, it may not seem like that big of a deal.
but unfortunately, my heart and my brain don't always end up on the same wave length.

so here's hoping to a better week next week!

1 comment:

  1. Lauren, I am obviously not a doctor and don't know all the details of your situation, however I do know this. Despite what any doctor may tell you....always remember who is actually in control. Very well respected doctors told me that my only option was IVF. 5 months after that diagnosis I was pregnant naturally with a little assistance from Clomid. Our Lord works in mysterious ways and I have a very smart and handsome twelve year old son to prove it.