good stuff all around.

for Lent this year, Chris and I are taking a social media break. 

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest are far too important in my life.

we don't really practice Lent, but it's a good time to reset and refresh.

we're 6 days in and yes, I'm missing my social media terribly, but I can say that life has much less drama when i'm not reading about everyone else's drama!

i deleted all the apps from my phone, so i catch myself opening my phone and then just staring because there's nothing good to do lol. all my photo apps don't matter if i can't push it to facebook or instagram.

really, the only other stuff i have on there is my period tracker and starbucks.

yep, not getting me very far.

clearly i needed this break.

but realistically, i'm trying to focus for this next month until Easter.

focus on what it is that God wants me to do.

what step does he want me to take?

and can i just say, it's amazing how much clearer you can hear God without all the distractions.

i asked, and he's delivering.

and i am absolutely paralyzed in fear.

just when i thought i had my control issues under control, God clearly shows me that i do not.

i spent a good 30 minutes ugly crying yesterday because i was scared. 

like scared to even say "ok God, I'll follow" because i have convinced myself that he will force me.

and by force me, i mean get me laid off from my job so i have to jump in with both feet.

but if it's God's plan, i know that he'll provide for me anyway.

oh my brain is so....human.

and i realize that this is all really vague, but i just need to get it out, so play along mmkay.

anyway, i tried to take a step and i signed up for a significant conference yesterday. that's gotta count for something.

but then there's the issue that much of my drama over it is put on by pms.

i mean i cried watching our dave ramsey class last night.

who am i kidding? i cry at that anyway.

speaking of dave, we're doing financial peace university right now. i kind of love it, but i'm nerdy like that. it's exciting to think of getting complete control of our money, and then completely overwhelming when you look at how much real debt we have.

i haven't yet had to make a student loan payment, so while i've always known it's out there, i've also never really counted it because it wasn't part of our monthly payments.

so today i actually logged in to get the total balance (for my 12 year bachelor's degree) and i just about passed out.

well....let the debt paying madness begin! i'm ready to call into his show and scream WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!

yeah, i cry every time someone does that too.