Mix and Match

Did you have a Mr. Potato Head when you were a kid?
I'm pretty sure I did not.
That is straight up deprivation!

So, we're in this series at church called Stuck in a Rut.
And this coming Sunday we're talking about marriage and relationships.
Last night I helped Chris with a video for the service that was all about Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head.
Look how happy they are!

But after a while, things get stagnant and you find yourself wishing your hubby had different characteristics.
Like maybe you hate his mustache.
Or his puny arms.
Or his big ears.
Or his buck-tooth smile.
In your mind you have a vast selection of things you'd like to switch out.
Just like Mr. Potato Head.
Look at all of the options to make him whatever you want!
You could trade in his smile, eyes, clothes, arms, nose, ears, and on and on.

Couples tend to forget that the looks they have are part of what made you fall in love with him in the first place.
But it's not just looks.
I think a lot of couples have tons of characteristics, whether physical or mental, that they'd like to change in their spouse.
Sometimes we think - if I could make him more like me, then I'd be happier.
Really, do you think you'd be happier if you lived with someone just like you.
And how would you feel if your hubby was having the same thoughts about you?

Personally, if I lived with someone just like me, I'd slit my wrists.
That's why Chris and I are so perfect together - we balance each other out.

I guess this has just really been on my mind a lot lately, you know, the importance of marriage and what that commitment means.
I have come to learn that love is a choice and an action, not some oooey gooey feeling.
Now don't get me wrong, I madly love my husband, but so many marriages end because "I just didn't feel the spark anymore".
Not an excuse people.

Several weeks ago, it came out that a friend of ours had been having an affair on his pregnant wife for almost a year. When it hits so close to home, you find yourself reevaluating everything.
How do we fireproof our own marriage from such trauma?

And then on the other hand we have a friend who is in a very critical condition in ICU and his wife is just making it through each day, praying that he makes it out of this.

And in an instance, everything can be gone. The one you pledged to spend the rest of your life with is no longer there.

So what do we do on a daily basis to strive to have the best marriage you can make it?
I don't have all the answers on this one...I've really been working through this though and I've come up with a few things.

1. God Centered. There's a big difference in being Christians and having a God-centered marriage. When HE is first and most important, everything else falls into place.

2. Mutual respect. The bible specifically speaks on respect in a marriage. Studies show that the number one thing men need from their spouse is respect (and then sex haha). Men want to be esteemed...and so do we. How often do you get frustrated and spout off some pretty hurtful words. I'm very guilty of this.
So this week I've been trying to take a deep breath BEFORE reacting.

3. Care about each other's interests. You both may have different hobbies and that's ok. But we each need to take an interest in what makes our other half happy.

4. Quality time. Ah, this is so important. So, so important. Sometimes you just need to have cuddle time together with no interruptions. Just real conversations. Just being present with one another.

5. Find out each other's love language. Here's the link so you can do it right now! After you figure out where each of you are, brainstorm on ways to tap into them. If your love language is completely opposite of your hubby's, chances are you're both feeling neglected in some way.

In a perfect world, I'd like to think I have a marriage that will last forever and will never be threatened.
But the truth is, we live in an imperfect world and we are imperfect people.
So imperfections in our marriages are inevitable.
But you can instill specific things in your marriage to overcome those imperfections and live in a happy home.

What are some things you could do in your relationship to be a better wife/girlfriend?
Sometimes, if he sees you trying, he might be a little more inclined to make some changes too.

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