so today i'm participating in Faith Barista's Thursday Jam.
you should totally jump over, read some of the other blogs, and then join in!
our topic today: god will make a way
i'm gonna talk about infertility today.
for any of my newer readers or visitors, i encourage you to start HERE to get the background on my issues.
but if you don't wanna go there - here it is in a nutshell.
chris and i have been married almost 8 years and we've been trying to get preggy for about 7 years.
turns out i have pcos (polycystic ovary syndrome) and i don't ovulate.
i have gone through several rounds of doctor therapy and my body won't respond to the treatment.
i had my last treatment in june and that's when the doc said there was nothing else they could do and that i need to see a specialist.
and then chris got the job in texas and we moved.
and so for the last 2 months, we haven't been thinking of it at all.
we agreed that we would revisit the specialist idea once we got out here, but now there's a whole new issue with insurance. we have it, but we have to pay everything out of pocket until we hit a cap.
so i think we should wait until the first of the year before seeing a specialist...at least that way, the money we fork out will go towards something. i think it would be most beneficial.
ok, so you're caught up.
now let me get to the real point.
i honestly do not feel that god will never bless us with a child.
and while i do have a heart to adopt, god has not placed it on my heart for right now.
i know without a shadow of a doubt that he is making a way for this wonderful "someday" baby of ours.
i was reading 1 samuel last week - about hannah. she was pleading with god for years that he would give her a child. and he gave her several. but it took YEARS.
i love so much that the bible has so many instances of infertility.
god designed us to have babies, and those stories of infertility in the bible, to me, shows that god truly has a heart for the barren. he knows how completely devastating it is for women who can't have children.
and while there are many women who never actually have children, i still believe he has a reason for that.
but more than anything, i know that god will make a way.
his way may not be our way.
it may not be our vision of how we think things should be.
but he's making a way.
and at the end of the day, that's the truth and hope that i must hold onto.
that's where i have to trust that his way is better than mine.