i haven't been sleeping well, so i doped up on some benadryl last night to help me out.
oh it helped me alright.
and now i must consume large quantities of caffeine to make it through the day....and we're just getting started!
let's chat for a minute.
there's just something i feel the need to share.
the message at church this weekend was all about prayer. but not the sappy formal kind.
the kind where God is ok if we scream and shout at him.
just like in a marriage, even if the only communication is fighting, you're still communicating. the relationship can still be fixed at that point.
sometimes people get so angry at God and just stop the communication all together.
don't do it. it's ok to cry, and scream, and be mad. it's ok. because he loves you enough to let you get it all out and then he meets you where you are.
don't believe me?
read your bible.
there are tons of times in the bible where people are mad at God and fuss at him.
David. Job. Jeremiah.
in fact, just a week or so ago, i said almost these exact words that Jeremiah said to God:
"O Lord, you misled me, and I allowed myself to be misled. You are stronger than I am and you overpowered me. Now I am mocked every day; everyone laughs at me" ~Jeremiah 20:7
and i think the message this weekend was God telling me that he heard me and it's ok.
a new friend told me something this weekend about her own walk with God and i just can't get it out of my head.
she was talking about how she strives to be better and makes a few steps forward then falls back like twenty. she said her life was like a dance with God. she was constantly messing up, stepping on his feet, trying to take the lead. but here's the kicker....she said, "Lauren, I know in my heart that God has told me he will dance with me. Even though I'm not great at it, he will still dance with me because he loves me that much."
i love that, so very much. maybe because it's so reflective of my walk as well.
C.S. Lewis said "lay before him what is in us, not what ought to be in us".
so friends, it's ok to let it all out. he'll dance this dance with us.