Overflow.

there's so much on my mind today.
so much i feel i want to share, but to do it all at once would create a post of unacceptable length.
i think i'll break it up over a few posts.

i'm feeling a little overwhelmed by life at the moment.
see, god has given me some pretty awesome dreams for my life.
and i want them all right now.
and honestly, i feel like now is the time to start.
however, i get so overly anxious about the details, requirements, stress, etc that i give up before i even start.
sad.
these are things i've been noticing in myself for a while.
i over think and get stressed about the possibility of getting stressed.
what's worse is having someone call me out on it.
luckily it was just my hubs. but he hit the nail on the head.
"you've given up before you've even tried."
hmmm.
never fear......i am making an appointment with a life coach.
i just need a little help and encouragement.
my extreme need for someone to spiritually invest in me has led me on a self-help book binge.
i know i'm not going to get everything i need out of a book.
i just need to start somewhere.
maybe open my eyes to a few things.

maybe i'm too scared of failing.

failure.
that's a scary word and no one freely accepts it.

but it finally feels like chris and i are taking a good turn in life.
he has a new job at a new church that we've been praying about for months.
i know that will change my outlook on a lot of things.
mainly because in the past year i've been to church only a handful of times.
i just didn't fit with the last one.
but this one i do.
and i'm so excited!
i need this in the worst way.

you wouldn't even believe how god has brought us full circle. i'll have to save that for another day - it's a post in itself.

i'm just ready for a big change.
like a really big change.