4/23/12

Love Languages

In my post the other day pertaining to marriage, I mentioned that it's important to find out one another's love language.

Chris and I took the test this weekend and it was spot on!
I think it's an awesome tool, so I wanted to share some more information with you.

There are 5 love languages. And these languages are factors in every relationship - so this includes whether you're single, married, a parent, etc....
You should definitely take the time to do the assessment. It's 30 questions and takes about 10 minutes to complete. There are assessments for husbands, wives, single, parents of teenagers, for children and for languages of apology.

1. Words of Affirmation: 
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. 
2. Quality Time:
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
3. Receiving Gifts:
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
4. Acts of Service:
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
5. Physical Touch:
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.


So my #1 love language is Acts of Service. It's so true. Seriously, cleaning efforts are one of the biggest items we argue about. It was pretty comical and so perfect!

Chris's #1 love language is Physical Touch. So true for him too.

So our date night Friday we talked about how to incorporate these needs into our daily life. And I can tell you it had been quite evident the areas that we need to work on.
It's funny how things are magnified once your attention is focused on it.
Random things would happen and one of us would respond with some stupid remark about how the other could improve their love language skills.
But, attention isn't necessarily a bad thing.
If you really want to make a change in your marriage, you have to accept the problem areas instead of living in denial!
So seriously....take the test. It'll be good for you to understand what makes you tick!

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